when they look over and say loudly “what are you drawing” you dont have to respond

when the teacher calls on you and you dont know the answer you are not a failure its ok to not know everything

when your parents wonder why you lock yourself in your room and stay there for four five six days just make sure to let them know you love them they really do worry about you

im sorry i couldnt give you what you needed im just a stupid little girl and i dont know what you wanted from me anyway i have a feeling you just liked the feeling of me getting all goo goo eyed over you which really sucks because you have moved on now and i just feel like my insides are spilled all over the floor 

december is as cruel and unforgiving as a steel knife 

the wind howls into your ear, desperate to be heard, desperate to be felt

trek down to the frozen pond and watch small birds hop in the tree branches, shaking down white powder

suck in air. feel the cold crackle in your lungs. it’s hard to breathe but you like the way it makes your insides feel like ice, let it out. inhale the sharp, clean scent of winter. exhale.

the cherry orchard is a vivid memory in my head. the fruit is sweet, bursting in my mouth. blue sky like a robin’s egg. if you lay your head back, you can see shapes in the clouds. you point out a deer with a shovel. your laughter is enough reward that it doesn’t hurt when we roll down the hill, sharp grass poking at my sides. 

"why can’t i go out and play with the other kids?" asks the puppy.

"you might hurt someone," replies the woman. 

i had a dream last night where i talked to you for the first time in months

it wasnt sad until i woke up with tears on my pillow

the old fisherman’s routine starts at four thirty am, when the grass is shiny with dew and the fog is starting to disappear from the bay. his boat, a rickety thing with crusted barnacles on the sides, creaks affectionately when he comes into view. the nets are cast. a thermos of coffee warms his chilled hands, his chilled bones. a soft splash, then silence again. he looks out over the icy gray water. a shimmering blue-green tail catches the sun’s rays and sends molten gold droplets flying. he sips his drink. mornings are the only time he gets to see her.

stay away from chain smoking adolescents because if you enter their world you will never want to leave

"Everybody’s got pain in their lives," she says matter-of-factly. Dappled sunlight peeks through the leaves of the big oak tree, ice clinks in her glass. 

He says nothing. 


i asked a friend what she thought of running away. we were sitting on a wall in the schoolyard, watching seagulls and wanting to fly. she is a sunflower in a gray scale painting and i am a pill bug wanting to hide away so of course she didnt understand what i really meant

i want to run and never come back 

not just leave for a while and return to find that someone has been feeding my fish while i was gone

sad grumpy and tired of existing